LOCATION: Memphis (Tennessee).
DATE: 06/08/01.


TIME: 04.00

Shhccuurrrrrruuaccck. Payno turns over on his bed once more, the extremely adhesive mattress sticking to his sweaty skin.

TIME: 05.00

Shhccuurrrrrruuaccck.

TIME: 09.00

Payno emerges from his adhesive mattress for a very welcome swim. Both weary travellers are full of anticipation given that we would soon have the opportunity to view the home of the 'King', although this is rather tempered for Payno by the perceived risk of thunderstorms. Quiff, on the other hand, is buoyed by the fact he is relatively unscathed after the previous evening's brush with 'the flies'.

TIME: 10.00

Gracelands is absolutely superb. Whilst it sounds corny, by the end of the tour, it is quite difficult not to be moved, regardless of whether you are a closet fan or not. The audio tour proves a test of Payno's technical abilities, but that apart, we find it thoroughly interesting, learning all sorts of trivial facts about his life and the impact he had upon the world.

TIME: 13.00

We quickly whip around the Elvis automobile and aeroplane collection, survive another cheeseburger and head for the lights and towers of downtown Memphis, Tennessee, in order to inspect the 'Memphis Belle' that lies on Mud Island in the middle of the Mississippi.

TIME: 14.00

Our hopes are ruined as the day turns sour. Payno, who arrived in the US with enough cash to last a week, and who is consequently dependant upon his Switch card, via Cirrus, realises that it fails to work here. Panic sets in, Quiff looks firstly confused, and then completely hacked off as he correctly concludes that the sight-seeing has reached an abrupt end. Several banks later and a desperate attempt to call the parents (which incidentally has probably got them seriously worried). We emerge still penniless, but set on the idea of a rejuvenating beverage.

However, once again, contrary to his very generous mood the previous day, the Lord decides to foil our cunning plan. "This I.D. is easy to fake.....I know, 'cos I studied in the UK" was the outrageous claim made by the barman as yet again another bar renders the ISIC card as useless. So we were left to contemplate our serious problems over a Pepsi. Quiff's hopes soar when he stumbles across the Fender guitar manufacturing outlet and nearly reaches climax contemplating the credit card purchase of a $4000 musical instrument.

TIME: 17.30

Payno's immediate finances are solved by a very strenuous 40 minute hike to a late night bank, where the combination of a credit card and passport gets him out of jail. Now relaxed, another visit to the China Buffet ensues, followed by the customary intake of alcohol. Yet again flies and thunderstorms (fast replacing ex-girlfriends as the nemeses) threaten, but we remain upbeat about our prospects, regardless of the fact that we must wake up in the morning at 6am. Payno is content that, despite the cash problems, his lifelong obsession with Tennessee remains satisfied for the next few years.