| 18 May, 2008 |
Jonola14 Productions |
visitors |
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die" |
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Smurg Many thanks to Simon S for authoring this masterpiece, devoted to my most famous quote of all time - SMURG! SMURG (sm ur'g) adj., n., adv., prep. An umbrella term used to describe absolutely anything, in any context whatsoever, usually without any relevance at all. *HISTORY of 'Smurg'* The word Smurg, although used widely around the world today, emerged from very humble beginnings. After a couple of drunken fools staggered home from a heavy night (one that started with the words "we can go down the Slug and Lettuce, but we shouldn't have a large one because we're working in the morning"), they sat down to a friendly cup of tea and a discussion on how to solve Third World debt and bring about World Peace in a couple of short weeks soon evolved. A Pot Noodle seemed to be in order, and as one of the fools (Simon S) began to tuck in, the second fool (Jonola) decided he also wanted some. Jonola asked, "Can I have a ..." and, temporarily forgetting the word 'piece', uttered the now infamous word 'smurg'. The rest is history. It is sad to note however, that a word as useful and widely used as 'smurg' began life as a result of a young student forgetting basic words while pissed as a fart. *EXAMPLES of Smurg* In language, "smurg" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John smurged Mary) and intransitive (Mary was smurged by John). It can be an action verb (John really gives a smurg), a passive verb (Mary doesn't really give a smurg), an adverb (Mary is smurgingly interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific smurg). It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is smurging beautiful!) or an interjection (Smurg! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, smurg she's also stupid). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "smurg". Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations... Greetings: "How the smurg are you?" Fraud: "I got smurged by the car dealer." Resignation: "Oh, smurg it!" Trouble: "Oh well, I guess I'm smurged now." Aggression: "SMURG YOU!" Disgust: "Smurg me." Confusion: "What the smurg.......?" Difficulty: "I don't understand this smurging business!" Despair: "Smurged again..." Pleasure: "I couldn't be smurging happier." Displeasure: "What the smurg is going on here?" Lost: "Where the smurg are we." Disbelief: "UNSMURGINGBELIEVABLE!" Retaliation: "Up your smurging ass!" Denial: "I didn't smurging do it." Perplexity: "I know smurg all about it." Apathy: "Who really gives a smurg, anyway?" Suspicion: "Who the smurg are you?" Panic: "Let's get the smurg out of here." Directions: "Smurg off." Disbelief: "How the smurg did you do that?" It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a smurging asshole." It can be used to tell time- "It's five smurging thirty." It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this smurging job?" It can be maternal- "Mothersmurger." It can be political- "Smurg Tony Blair!" It has also been used by many notable people throughout history: "What the smurg was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima "Where the smurg is all this water coming from?" - Captain of the Titanic "That's not a real smurging gun." - John Lennon "Who's gonna smurging find out?" - Richard Nixon "Heads are going to smurging roll." - Anne Boleyn "Let the smurging woman drive." - Commander of Space Shuttle 'Challenger' "Any smurging idiot could understand that." - Albert Einstein "How the smurg did you work that out?" - Pythagoras "You want what on the smurging ceiling?" - Michaelangelo "Smurg a duck." - Walt Disney "I don't suppose its gonna smurging rain?" - Joan of Arc "Scattered smurging showers, my arse." - Noah "I need this welcome parade like I need a smurging hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy |