Jonola14

IS IT BECAUSE I IS BACK?

Yes, people. Three months. THREE MONTHS I’ve been offline and finally, on this beautiful mid-October evening when the rain is drizzling and the air is cold, I am back online. I have just finished hugging my PC and telling it how much I have missed its sweet downloads and juicy broadband capabilities and now I am writing my first post on my much neglected website (it’s this one, in case you were wondering).

So, what’s happened in the past three months? Well, shedloads to be honest. And most of the incidents and occasions I have full intention to write up. Whether or not I have the time to do so is another matter, of course, but here is a brief synopsis of the contents of the past through months:

- been the main feature of a half hour TV show about dating broadcast on ITV1 Meridian
- landed the job I wanted in a record label
- got the letters ACIM after my name after my CIM Marketing exam results
- begun relations with a member of the fairer sex
- bought a sports car (not quite yet but almost!)
- become a Godparent
- won two 5-a-side football leagues
- written a song about Boris Johnson
- been on a stag do to Spain

and there’s a lot more too, but that’s your taster and you’ll just have to come back every now and again to see if there’s more on here.

See you in three months!

BOOK REVIEW: THE BEACH HOUSE (JAMES PATTERSON)

Jack Mullen, a young and talented law student, finds out that his brother has been killed. It is claimed that Peter Mullen drowned, but the bruising and cuts all over his body show otherwise. He was murdered.

Jack then finds out that Peter died with almost 200,000 dollars in his bank account - strange for someone who did odd-jobs and parked cars for a living. He enlists the help of a colleague from his law job with whom he consequently falls in love, and they investigate the sordid web of sex, lies, photography and bribery that enshroud this death.

Due to a corrupt cop, Jack has to take matters into his own hands, particularly when his father dies of a stress-related heart attack and approaches the owner of The Beach House where he is convinced the guilty parties lie.

Eventually, with the help of his new girlfriend and his close friends, Jack takes control and broadcasts a pirate legal investigation on TV.

Another full-flowing Patterson read (with the aid of co-writer Peter De Jonge) and one that allows you to closely associate with the characters, feeling what you think they feel. Not a complicated plot and I’d guessed most of it by the time I got half way through the book, but another good throwaway read.

Jonola rating out of 10:

BOOK REVIEW: CRADLE AND ALL (JAMES PATTERSON)

This book is all about religion and babies.

There are two girls, both virgins and both pregnant. Nobody believes that they are still virgins, despite their protests, except for religious leaders in the church who have had to give events their full attention.

An ancient mythological story about the devil and the Lord being reincarnated keeps cropping up and when people near the pregnant children hear voices commanding them to do things, when birds divebomb people taunting the children, when people go crazy around them, it appears that something supernatural is occuring.

But which one is which? Which child is going to give birth to the devil and which one is going to give birth to the Lord? And what should Anne Fitzgerald, a private detective and also a virgin, do when the children are born? How are she and the religious leaders going to know which one is which? Will one be red with a tail and pointy teeth?

It is a slightly confusing read, with two very similar events happening concurrently, but an intriguing and worthwhile one at that. And I particularly like the ending.

Jonola rating out of ten:

BOOK REVIEW: POST MORTEM (PATRICIA CORNWELL)

This is the first ever Patricia Cornwell book I have read. I will be reading more.

A killer strikes early on a Saturday morning, killing a woman by strangulation. And then strikes again early on another Saturday morning, killing another woman by strangulation. There is a strange residue left on the bodies of the victims but there doesn’t seem to be a pattern, except for the time and day of the killings. A third and a fourth victim is killed and Friday nights suddenly become a fearful time of the week for everyone in the city of Richmond, Virginia.

But Dr Kay Scarpetta is on the case, although those close to her believe her colleagues are trying to ruin her career and reputation before she gets the chance to shine in her new job. Scarpetta also lives alone.

An intriguing plot that keeps you guessing, there is no pattern to these killings so how are the police going to catch the killer? There must be something that connects them all? An ex-boyfriend? A delivered pizza? A door-to-door salesman?

As Scarpetta and Detective Marino get closer to the killer, they use journalist Abby Turnbull to plant findings in the newspapers, to scare the killer. But there is always the risk that they will scare the killer into action.

A great read and thoroughly recommended.

Jonola rating out of 10:

BOOK REVIEW: 2ND CHANCE (JAMES PATTERSON)

A young girl is killed in a melée of bullets outside a church by an unknown killer who escapes in a van with a strange symbol on it. No-one else is hurt or killed and the forensic investigation shows that the killer hit his target with deadly accuracy. And the little girl was related to a policeman.

More killings ensue, all of the victims related to, or working for, the police force and the Women’s Murder Club forms once more to investigate the killings. A link to what’s known as Chimera is established and the search narrows until the killer is found. But it’s not who they thought it was.

This is quite a straight-line plot with few complications and the ending is a little extreme, but as a throw-away read it’s enjoyable.

Jonola rating out of ten:

BRIAN BLESSED

This is incredible. Brian Blessed talking about his time working on Flash Gordon. Watch it all the way through for his Yeti impression.

I think I have blogged about this before, but definitely worth it again.