| 18 May, 2008 |
Jonola14 Productions |
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"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." |
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How to Solve the Fire Fighter Pay Disputes For months now all we have read about in the newspapers or seen on tv is the long-running pay dispute between the government and the fire fighters of the country. The basic gist of it is that the fire fighters simply don't believe they are being paid enough for the job they do (don't we all?). It has come to the point that the government is refusing to increase their pay to the level they demand and so the fire fighters have decided to go on strike to demonstrate their disgust. During the strikes, it is the Army who has to substitute and they are driving round in world war two green goddess trucks in the vain attempt to cover for the fire service whilst the fire fighters are all gathered around oil drums outside their fire stations warming their hands and gazing at the 'Give Me More Money' banners hung across above the doors of the fire station. However, I have devised a unique way to solve the dispute and make them go back to work without any further pay rises. The idea is really quite simple - set fire to the fire fighters' homes then phone them up and say "excuse me, your house is on fire". What are they going to do then, huh? Are they going to stand there toasting marshmallows on the oil drum flames, refusing to go home and put the fire out? No, I don't think so. As soon as they hear that their worldly possessions are going up in smoke, they'll be back in their fire engines before you can say 'forty percent rise'. If that sounds a little extreme, how about this alternative - set fire to the fire fighters themselves. Picture the irony - a fire fighter burning alive on the forecourt of the fire station whilst his mates stand around looking at each other's 'Fair Pay for Fire Fighters' t-shirts. That way they HAVE to do some work. They have the choice - stop moaning and do some work or watch their friend and colleague burn to death right in front of them. In any case, if they WERE to refuse to put him out, he would die and there would be one less whinging fire fighter to listen to, and the government could replace him with someone who accepts the initial pay levels. Perhaps I should go into politics..... |