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December 05, 2005

PULL MY FINGER

"Who's that?" I asked Debs as an unfamiliar face appeared on screen amidst a backdrop of exotic looking trees and hammocks. "That's Sheree Kewell" she replied with an air of irritation that I could have been so stupid as to have not known. "And who's that?" I enquired moments later, pointing an accusing finger a jolly, oversized American preaching about 'bettering himself' and other such psychological phenomenon. Debs sighed, tutted and abruptly informed me that it was Jimmy Osmond. That really didn't help me at all, but I didn't dare press the question.

And then a third individual appeared on the screen, a much posher, clearly moneyed, butch woman by the name of Carole. I just had to ask. I waited a second or two, trying to pick the right moment. "Who's that Debs?".

"JACK, THAT'S CAROLE BLOODY THATCHER" came the response.

And so it came to pass that we were watching 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here' (or 'Outta' here for the grammatically inept), series number 489. In a quest to annoy Debs even further, I then set off on a ramble about how it was kind of ironic that people I had never heard of were appearing as invitees on a show for Celebrities. An obvious point, and one I'm sure a lot of people have made over the past two weeks (or however long the infernal show has been on for) but a point that I deemed necessary to make and to exhaust, even if it achieved nothing other than to serve as a severe irritation to Debs.

She then decided to sit on me - one of those 'I need a cuddle' moments, so I duly obliged and she sat snuggled into my arms in what was a lovely, affectionate moment. I couldn't resist it. Something inside of me just told me to do it, my soul urged me to go ahead, beating off the pathetic resistance offered by my conscience. 'Go on' my mind said. So I did.

"Debs?" I said, as she lifted her head from my shoulder to gaze at me. "Pull my finger". She looked at me a little perplexed, but grabbed my finger anyway and gave it a short, sharp tug, at which point I let off a loud, bubbly, vibrating rip-roarer of a fart which reverberated across the sofa and forced Debs to shriek in disgust and hurry out of the room.

She's so very, very lucky to have me.

Posted by jonola14 at December 5, 2005 10:19 PM

Posted by: Wibbler at December 5, 2005 10:43 PM

Posted by: Salina at December 5, 2005 11:55 PM

Posted by: Jonola at December 6, 2005 08:34 AM

Posted by: Jenny at December 6, 2005 04:36 PM