| 5 September, 2008 |
Jonola14 Productions |
visitors |
Warning: fopen(randomquote.txt): failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/httpd/vhosts/jonola14.co.uk/httpdocs/inctop2.php on line 37 Warning: filesize(): Stat failed for randomquote.txt (errno=2 - No such file or directory) in /home/httpd/vhosts/jonola14.co.uk/httpdocs/inctop2.php on line 38 Warning: fread(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/httpd/vhosts/jonola14.co.uk/httpdocs/inctop2.php on line 38 Warning: fclose(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/httpd/vhosts/jonola14.co.uk/httpdocs/inctop2.php on line 40 |
« ESCORTED AWAY | Main | CHRISTMAS JUST FLU BY » December 12, 2005IT WASN'T ME - I SWEARLast Christmas I bought one of these (for those of you too lazy to click the link - it's a small punchbag that whenever you hit it, it swears at you) as a Secret Santa present for a work colleague. Highly amused by such a toy, I decided to buy one myself at the same time and keep it on my desk at home. My current colleagues decided the other day that I swear too much, so I decided that my new year's resolution for 2006 would be to cut right down on swearing and what better time to do it than the beginning of December. So last week I took the bag of abuse into work and sat it on my desk. Three minutes later I had broken it and it was in three pieces, but I somehow managed to fix it and put it back into a complete working order. It has provided a lot of amusement with its four catchphrases - "EAT SH*T", "F*CKING JERK", "YOU'RE AN A**HOLE" and best of all "F*CK YOU" and despite being taken apart and resurrected (must be the time of year..) it seems to be in full working order. I wanted to get in touch with a supplier, but the phone kept ringing and ringing and I just couldn't get through. It was urgent so I hung on in there waiting for the voicemail to kick in. To pass the time, I tucked the phone onto my shoulder and held it in place with my chin, and picked up the swearing punch bag. Studying it carefully to see where the damage had been done, I twisted it around in my hands, being careful not to set it off, and looked at the broken bits that needed supergluing. After the seventh ring, it was clear that the supplier wasn't going to answer the phone and my attention became completely focused on the swearing punchbag. Then the supplier answered the phone. "Hello?" she said in a friendly, quality customer-service kind of way. "Oh hello" I said in response, at which point I lost grip on the punchbag which I was holding far too dangerously close to the receiver and it shouted "EAT SH*T, F*CKING JERK. YOU'RE AN A**HOLE. F*CK YOU." Oops. Posted by jonola14 at December 12, 2005 11:03 PM Subscribe!Comments Post a comment |