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December 11, 2005

ESCORTED AWAY

My ex-girlfriend hated Ford Escort drivers on the grounds that they were poor, aggressive drivers that hogged the road and bullied others. In my opinion this is more suited to drivers of BMW vehicles, but further to this recent experience, it applies to both.

I'd stayed behind at the football club after the game for a social beer and a bit of food, but come 2pm it was time for me to leave and get home. Driving back to Harrow, I was doing 38mph in a 40mph zone plied with speed cameras when a blue Ford Escort appeared behind me and flashed its lights as if to say 'come on, you're going too slow and you're holding me up'. There was no way on Earth that I was going to speed up to please this hooligan, particularly with another camera looming, so I maintained my speed and passed the camera.

He flashed again and I knew he was going to overtake. This was a 40mph zone and there was just no way that I was going to let him get away with it. He moved out to overtake so I gently put my foot on the accelerator (since there were no more cameras) and kept him where he was - I was ignoring the 40mph limit myself now but I was making a point. His crappy Escort couldn't keep up (much to his frustration and my delight) and as a lamp-post island drew nearer, he was forced to pull in behind me again.

Once the island passed, I let him overtake. I'd made my point and as far as I was concerned if he wanted to ignore speed limits and risk his licence, his life, and the lives of others then there wasn't a lot I could do about it. As he pulled in front of me, he braked, gesticulated and called me all sorts of names. This wasn't a surprise so I smiled, waved and blew him a kiss before giving him the finger. He responded and so it continued for a few seconds before a set of traffic lights gone red appeared. I didn't pull up directly behind him because I suspected he was going to get out and approach me, so when his driver's door opened and he got out, I wasn't the least bit shocked. He was a fair-sized black guy but for some reason he just stood with one foot on his door sill making shoulder gestures that I simply couldn't interpret.

I couldn't help but start laughing. There was this fairly big, irate black bloke in his Escort who, even if I had let him pass at the outset of this incident, still would have got no further than he had, and now he was trying to act hard yet cool by standing with one foot on the inside of his car. So I sniggered to myself, dramatically shrugged and made a big deal out of a fake yawn before smiling broadly, offering a wave and gleefully pointing at the lights that had gone green behind him without him knowing.

So in he got and off he sped, turning right moments later and by my estimation would have ended up saving himself about three seconds had I let him overtake me. He offered one last flash of the lights and no doubt some cursing, but frankly I didn't care because I was having a whale of a time.

And then I got to thinking. I really really enjoyed that - maybe I should join the traffic police? Or maybe I should set up one of those underground righteous gangs that punishes bad people (or in this case bad drivers). I would be like one of those superheroes - fighting for good drivers against evil - I could even get myself a cape and a catchy name (Motor Man? Road Runner? Captain Mechanical? [suggestions?]) and bring the bad drivers of this world to motoring justice. Is anyone with me?

Posted by jonola14 at December 11, 2005 02:45 PM

Posted by: steph at December 12, 2005 05:01 PM

Posted by: Jonola at December 12, 2005 11:23 PM