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September 14, 2005

SHOULDER PAIN

Last Saturday night I stayed in. Debs is still away travelling the wonders of Australasia and Alex was sunning himself in the warm climates of Mediterranean Spain so I was in the flat by myself, happily watching whatever trash came on Sky and eventually retiring to bed at a respectful hour to get my head into another chapter of Sherlock Holmes' adventures. Knowing that my football season was starting the following morning, I switched out the light around midnight and let my sleepy head rest in relaxation on the freshly plumped up pillows.

I was in agony when I woke up. My right arm would hardly move and it was painful to lean on my right side. Thinking I must have slept funny, I slowly began to roll my shoulders and exercise my arm so that the blood in the muscles could get flowing and hopefully the searing pain would subside. Happily it did and I dashed off to football where we made a great start to the season in a 3-0 victory.

Back at home and in the shower after football, I noticed a strange mark on my right shoulder, exactly where the pain had been, and still was, coming from. It was in the shape of an 'x', red, and right on the top of the shoulder bone. I touched it and yelped in discomfort as a stabbing pain shot straight up to my neck. By this point I could hardly raise my arm at all, I had to use my left arm to lift up my right. Later in the day I tried driving - not a chance. Ever tried using the steering wheel with one shoulder out of action? Well let me tell you, it's painful and very VERY dangerous. It's amazing the things you take for granted with your body - I had to think twice about lifting a pint glass to my mouth, or reaching for the remote control, or grabbing the mobile when it rang, the pain was excruciating and the worst thing was that I had absolutely no idea what I had done.

Was the injury muscular? Well how do you explain the red cross and the pain I got from pressing down on the point of intersection? How did I get such a mark when all I had done was to lay in bed asleep? I hadn't injured during the day because I would have noticed, so what had happened? Had I got up in the middle of the night, sleep-walking, and ran shoulder first into an oversized Phillips head screwdriver? Or were there more sinister affairs at work here? Could there be somebody out there sticking a large needle into a small, balding, big-eared doll made out of patchwork and loincloth, causing me immense pain in some sort of sadistic voodoo grudge attack?

Thankfully, two weeks on, the pain has subsided, although there is still discomfort when I press on my shoulder bone. The red cross has gone and I am able to drive my car with two hands, change the tv channel and drink pints of beer, but I am conscious of what might happen next. Might I sleepwalk out of the window, or stumble down the stairs in a dazed slumber? Or maybe the voodoo doll will strike again?

Or maybe I've been reading too much Sherlock Holmes.

Posted by jonola14 at September 14, 2005 08:41 PM