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July 14, 2005

OBSCURE MAIL

I received a letter this morning, it reads:

"Dear Ms Frangella,

Do you wish you had the ability to log and store all your lab-scale crossflow parameter data in an easy retrievable format?

Are you considering scale up trial work, but are worried about maintaining both identical hydraulic path length and the same materials of construction within the cassettes?

Our Benchtop Crossflow system is an essential tool for any laboratory concentrating and clarifying animal yeast and bacterial cells for the recovery of extracellular products. The unit features the latest advances in crossflow technology, making it ideal for development, characterisation and optimization of all crossflow microfiltration, ultrafiltration and diafiltration processes."

And so it went on. I would have read more, but I was jumping from hysterical laughter to comatose boredom. I felt like writing back with the opening line 'Dear Ms Complete Nerd, I had been suffering from insomnia until I read your letter but now I am cured'. Any ideas what it means?

How on Earth can someone write a letter like this and expect to get sales from it? Do they not realise that people will die from boredom if they read that?

And then, to cap it all off, I got home from work and there was a message on the answerphone from the Afro Hair and Beauty Shop congratulating me on winning second place in their competition and would I please contact them to arrange collection of my £150 prize!

Posted by jonola14 at July 14, 2005 11:49 PM

Posted by: Wibbler at July 15, 2005 7:45 AM

Posted by: shifty at July 16, 2005 11:11 AM

Posted by: shunta at July 17, 2005 8:19 PM

Posted by: Jonola at July 18, 2005 8:19 AM