Jonola14

Ok, if anyone objects to swearing then close this page down immediately because I am going to have a rant and I am going to fucking swear.

I don't watch much television, that's a fact. Why? Because I don't really have the time to waste and I'd prefer to do something constructive with my time than vegetate in front of mindless drivel. But last night I had a pile of ironing to get through, so I switched on the box and stood there for a couple of hours whilst preparing my work shirts for the week ahead.

In a world where people start wars for personal gain, beheadings are posted on the internet, and the news is full of murders, rapes and shootings, I decided that some light-hearted entertainment was in order so I switched to the ITV music show 'X-factor'. What a load of bollocks that show is. The 'singers' bludgeon to death some of the best songs ever by giving their own 'interpretations' so that Simon Cowell and co can benefit from the proceeds of three million people's votes. Surely the contestants know that they are not going to be in the charts in a year's time? Surely they have seen the rise and fall of Michelle McManus (the fat Scottish girl who won the 4,763rd version of Pop Idol) and realise that the best they can hope for is a few radio interviews and, if they're lucky, a cameo role in a 2005 Christmas pantomime? And as for that Tabby character, what a little prick he is. He fucks about with Sweet Child Of Mine last week and this time around he's murdering Bon Jovi's Livin' On A Prayer (he didn't sing any of the high notes either, he got the crowd to do that bit). And why the fuck does he carry his guitar around with him wherever he goes? He doesn't play the damned thing during his performances so I can only assume someone's got so fed up of him fucking about with great songs that they've rammed it up his irritating, moodly little Irish arse.

So that pissed me off and I paid little more attention to the television until I'm A Celebrity Get Me Outta Here came on a bit later. First of all, WHO THE FUCK ARE HALF THESE PEOPLE? Forget C-list celebrities, these are M-list at the very best. Yes there are some half-decent names thrown in but surely the show cannot claim to have celebrities on it if the people there are unknowns. They should call it I'm Anonymous And Only In It For The Money and be done with it. Better than that, they should lock the whole lot of them in a darkened room without food or water for an entire week and let them beat the crap out of each other.

And I have to say that Natalie Appleton is the stupidest person on the planet. She has undoubtedly seen the show before so she would know what the contestants are subjected to. Why, then, did she accept the invitation to appear on the show when she's petrified of the fucking bridge - and that's before she's done the bushtucker challenge or whatever the fuck they call it. She is the most annoying and pathetic person I have ever seen on television. "Oh, I can't eat that" she says in her false American accent as she's presented with a couple of green ants to eat. "JUST EAT THE FUCKING THINGS" I yelled at the tv, fed up with her negative, whiney attitude. But then I hit upon a plan.

If we could spread the word to the entire country that they have to vote for Appleton to do the bushtucker trials every day, then she won't win any stars and won't therefore win any meals for the group. As a result, the 'celebrities' will constantly be bickering and ideally starting to kill each other, but if that doesn't happen then the hunger should kill them. Please, people, let's make it happen.

Appleton annoyed me so much that I switched over to Match Of The Day (which I probably would have done anyway to be fair) but here was a professional player spitting in the face of another. Why do people behave like this? Why do we have to live in a world where elections cannot be trusted, where politicians work for personal gain and where the human mindset is to hurt others? Why can't we bring back the death penalty, stoning and the stocks? Maybe then we can rid the world of low-life scum.

A splendid rant. Do I take it you're not happy with the standard of television?

Thank God i hear she's left the jungle now. Bloody moaning, pathetic woman. its a BRIDGE for fucks sake!!! "Uh oohh I can't breathe, I'm dizzy, help me help me, I give up, mummy mummy".
Yawn. Someone start a bush fire and get rid of the lot of them.

Sadly, television in this country is aimed at the intellectually challenged, the bereft of intelligence and the mentally lacking.

When they fill the timeslots with programmes such as 'Scrapheap Challenge' and 'Hard Spell', is it any suprise that people are reluctant to pay their TV Licence fee?! And when they air half decent programmes at half past midnight, what have they left us with? If we are to contine being entertained by spotty kids trying to spell their mother's maiden name, and out-of-work mechanics re-building A-Team inventions, i vote that we boycott our TV Licences'...

'I'm a Celebrity' is the show that says 'I've arrived'. It also says 'I arrived so long ago that you've forgotten that i'm here'!

November 28, 2004

WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?