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August 30, 2003

OW MY TOE

So there we were, ALex M and I, standing by a table in O'Neill's Music Room last night, quietly drinking our beers and wondering why the two t*ssers on the dance floor had black rugby tape wrapped around their heads.

Out of the dancefloor mire came two rather large women. Fully rounded, plump, roly-poly puddings. They approached the table we had our beers on. "OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW" I yelled as one of the hippos stood full-weighted on my big toe. Alex saw what was happening and bolted for it. Before I knew what was what, I had been sandwiched between the two heffas and they were engaging me in conversation.

"You don't look like you fit in here" one said to me. Resisting the temptation to say 'yes, I'm surprised you managed it', I agreed and pointed out the sad imbeciles with the tape on their foreheads. "Do you drive a Porsche?" she then said. "No, not yet, what makes you say that?" At which point Alex returned and tentatively stood next to me. After telling me once more that I didn't fit in, she asked what we did for employment. "I work for a car company and he stacks shelves" I said. "No you don't" came the reply. I'm sure you can appreciate we had to get out of there as soon as possible, with the dancefloor the only option.

I was then accosted by a ginger woman who was then aggrieved that I wouldn't kiss her, I got complimented on my singing (!) by another, then spilt beer on her, and Alex got told he was odd and pulled a midget. Splendid.

Posted by jonola14 at August 30, 2003 7:03 PM

Posted by: Wibbler at September 1, 2003 12:05 PM