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June 1, 2003

DEBAUCHERY (FOR A CHANGE)

On Friday night, Mark R and I visited the delightful Luton to celebrate Amy B's defection to the north. We had been promised chicken wrapped in bacon, combined with the mouth-watering prospect of a tasty mushroom sauce. So, we sat in the garden and drank beer whilst Amy slaved over the hot stove and we waited for the other guests.

After dishing dirt on each other to Amy's good looking housemate, telling numerous random stories, and Mark amazing us all with some totally obscure facts about nothing in particular, with a brief pause for me to kick the football over the fence, we tottered inside for our nosh.

And very nice it was too, the only flaw being that Amy had forgotten to make the mushroom sauce. Not to worry, we washed it down with red and white wines, followed by a few tumblers of port. "Oooooh" I said as I examined the port bottle, "it's a San Burrie". It took a full half hour before the other guests realised that the port had been bottled by Sainsbury ("San Burrie") and that I was just trying to act posh.

Saturday morning produced perhaps the most amusing incident of the entire weekend. Having woken at some ungodly hour still fully clothed and nowhere near a bed, I switched the NTL box on and started watching televison. Mark R soon appeared, also still fully clothed, but there was simply nothing to watch, except SMTV where the presenters were wandering around the set looking for the 'carrot clue' with a view to opening the 'carrot cupboard', thus revealing the mysterious item inside. 'Brrrrriinnng' went the doorbell, so up we got and headed for the door where we were greeted by a smiling man wearing shorts. "Mr Hart?" I was confused, it was too early for such a question, and besides which I was still wondering what was in the 'carrot cupboard'. "Ummm, no, but he is here somewhere" I replied and with that, the man announced that he was here to disconnect the NTL and take away the box. I showed him through, just as the presenters located the carrot clue and were making for the carrot cupboard. 'Click, crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr' went the television, as the man pulled out all the wires. "Ah" I said, extremely disappointed at such an abrupt loss of viewing, "now we'll NEVER know what's in the carrot cupboard".

Saturday night was a different affair. Simon S, Michelle C, Mel N and Elli C all came up to Watford to join Mark R, Alex M and I for a night of drunken tomfoolery. After several beers back at the ranch, we sampled Chicago's where Mark R was most impressed by the high average age of the women. We then moved on to Jongleurs where we spent the majority of the evening drinking a dubious red cocktail and inventing new silly dances, such as the Motor Neurone - which pretty much entailed the imitation of controlling a wheelchair with a joystick. Not nice, I know, but blame Simon S.

We then kebabed up and headed home where we passed out in front of Jackass for the umpteenth time.

And then this morning I decided to finish off my kebab (that I'd very efficiently put in the fridge), which gave me indigestion for the entire day.

Posted by jonola14 at June 1, 2003 9:32 PM