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April 15, 2003

MEDICINE

I started taking my Chinese medicine this week, in the hope that I might finally rid myself of this turbulent cough and cold.

I have three sets of pills and potions. The first one is a box of small bottles, one to be taken three times a day. I have to pierce the lid with the tiny little plastic straw before taking in a deep breath, motivating myself and finally closing my eyes and sucking down the evil mixture. My taste buds protest, my stomach grumbles with disagreement and I have to fight off the urge to throw it all up again, choosing instead to shiver uncontrollably and down as many glasses of water as possible to take the taste away.

Then come the pills. Eight, yes EIGHT pills to be taken three times a day. Except that these pills don't look like pills, more like pellets from a BB gun, and they rattle in the bottle like you would not believe. Fortunately they don't taste as bad as the evil mixture, but they give me indigestion. I'm thankful they don't give me diarrhoea, though, as those BB pellets could very well be likened to machine gun fire.

The third and final ingredient is the tar-like potion that I haven't dared open yet, I'm just too scared. I turn the bottle upside down and the contents take forever to slide inside the bottle, putting the fear of God into me as I imagine what it could do to my already suffering intestines.

Medicine? Not bloody likely. More like a course of massachistic witch potions designed to put my body through hell and relegate my cough and cold to the back of my thoughts.

Posted by jonola14 at April 15, 2003 8:04 PM