Jonola14

The candidates for Renault's graduate intake next year were an interesting bunch. There we were, at a conference centre just outside Milton Keynes, about to discuss our experiences with them and answer any questions over dinner and a glass or two.

As Mark R and I registered our names at reception upon arrival, a Royal Mail employee walked in, marched up to the desk, grinned from ear to ear, stared at the receptionist and in a very childish voice, said "hello nanny".

That was just the start. After a few games of pool and a few beers, conversation was not a problem and we soon began to develop opinions on who should be employed. There was the one that we didn't like, who had a lisp that put Jamie Oliver to shame and produced more spit than a conversation in Welsh with Donald Duck. There was also McBain from The Simpsons and the lunatic who didn't realise we were laughing at him and not with him.

"May I say, that's a smashing blouse you have on" Mark said, trying to break the ice with some of the girls around the dinner table.

Lager and wine flowed and soon began to take effect. Our bosses in Human Resources were also present and started to ask us questions about our scheme. "How did you feel in your final interview" she said, "to be honest with you, I was so tired, I didn't give a shit" I replied, straight to the point.

A Scottish bloke approached us and asked if we wanted a game of doubles at pool. After two games he had given up, whimpered back to his pint, tail between his legs and reflected on being seven-balled and six-balled.

"What's your football team then Jon" Ray, the longest-serving employee of Renault at an oustanding 37 years, enquired. "Spurs, what's yours?" I replied between sips of Walker's 1997 Port. "Arsenal, we're far better than you" he retorted, at which point I forgot my juniority and said "oh shut it, punk". Bang goes the promotion.

Anyway, after racking up over £50 worth of drinks at the bar, it was time for bed - thank God I can claim it all back on expenses!

Sounds like an average night in Jonolaville! How was the skiing?

I think today's result against Man Utd says it all. Short of three of our top players and we still win 2-0.... When was the last time Spurs beat them????

and this is relevant to....?

February 12, 2003

INTERNATIONAL GRADS