Jonola14

IS SHE DEAD?

I think the doddery old bat from next door is dead. She's disappeared, nobody has seen her and I seriously think she's dead. Here's the evidence:

1- It's been the best weather all year, but our neighbour who is an obsessive gardner is nowhere to be seen. Normally she would religiously mow the grass at least three times a day.
2- We live right next door to the middle of nowhere, but her car is in the garage and she hasn't been seen for days.
3- We share an American-style mail-box. She hasn't collected her post for two days.
4- The gate that separates her back garden from ours has been open for several days. This is usually shut.
5- Not one garment of her bizarre clothing has been hung on the shared washing line to dry.
6- There is a horrible smell coming from somewhere that I cannot distinguish and I have noticed a huge increase in the number of flies around our house.

I think I'll knock on her door tomorrow...