Mark, Alex and I headed for Chicago's last night, the pound-a-pint offer was just far too tempting. The entertainment for the evening was a Michael Jackson impersonator, although he was clearly miming and perhaps the worst act they have had there in recent weeks.
Anyway, Mark used the same "that's a smashing blouse you have on" line to somebody he said it to last time, provoking a glare and a hasty exit. He also tweaked it to become "that's a wonderful frock you have on" and persisted in chatting to elderly women.
A twenty pence piece had fallen onto the ground and we were kicking it to each other, when all of a sudden a Chinese man appeared, clearly on his own. He watched us for a while and then picked up the coin. He then searched the area for any more loose change and made the 'I'm going to the bar' gesture. Odd.
Before we could put up our defences, we had been pounced on by a large girl who would not seem to go away. To make matters worse, her friend then turned up. By this point I'd had seven pints and she was still utterly repugnant. She was huge, a massive wobbly jelly of a woman with more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Thankfully she targeted Mark who had to fend her off by pushing her away repeatedly. Wide load? Not arf.
So we staggered home, made toast and I fell asleep on the sofa.
I turned up at work late, unshaven and walked past my boss and a few of the other women in the office. "Blimey, you look rough" one said as I sat at my desk. "Are you ill, you don't look well?". Seizing the opportunity for a bit of attention and perhaps getting off work early, I admitted that I hadn't had much sleep and that I was not 100%. "Your eyes are a bit bloodshot and veiny, and they lack their normal sparkle" another one added, so I played along once more.
The thing is, I don't actually feel well - my glands are up, my back and neck and aching and I am developing a cough. That'll teach me to cry wolf.
Another visit to the Chinese herbalist beckons.....
Posted by jonola14 at July 24, 2003 10:10 PM