Jonola14

ILLNESS

For the past few days I have been feeling particularly unhealthy and was banished from work.

Having almost choked on my own greeny brown phlegm last night, I was rather looking forward to seeing the doctor in the morning. Despite a day and a half's rest, things had not improved and I was still coughing and spluttering as badly as an elderly Renault 5.

SO, upon arrival at the quack's, I explained that I had had a cough/cold in early February and that it had almost completely gone away, but that now it was back with a serious vengeance and hence the visit to see her.

It turns out that I have been "most unfortunate" to contract a "virus on top of another virus".

Now, you would have thought that being double-virused, I would need some sort of strong medication or antibiotic. Oh no, I came away from the surgery with a small scrap of paper with the words 'Codeine Linctus' scrawled across it, with the intention that I go out and buy some. Despite my protests and obvious disbelief, I left disheartened.

And so started the quest for 'Codeine Linctus'.

After an unsuccessful search for the stuff in Watford town centre, I remembered a conversation with a work colleague about Chinese Medicine and managed to locate such an establishment. When I walked in, the doctor began wittering on at me in Chinese (you would have thought that a young Caucasian man wearing an England rugby shirt in the middle of Watford would have been enough to indicate that I wasn't actually Chinese) and I was eventually told that I needed x, y and z medication to get rid of the cough. I was astonished to be presented with a £40 bill, but walked out with a bottle of pills, two packs of bottles of liquid and another jar of different liquid - this one is brown - but no Codeine Linctus. Later analysis concluded that they saw me coming, so to speak.

I eventually found a pharmacy that sold me Codeine Linctus and the stuff is
utterly vile but hopefully it will do the trick. I shall save the Chinese
concoctions until after the Codeine Linctus is finished as combining them
would probably cause some sort of internal implosion.

I am not allowed at work until Monday, as was decided by unanimous vote.

They do like me, really.

Posted by jonola14 at April 4, 2003 09:25 AM