Jonola14

NOT MY METHANE

Do you ever have one of those days, or parts of a day, where everyone seems to be staring at you? Well I had one of those last night.

I’d been to the iTunes Live: London Festival ‘08 at Koko in North London which was a bit of a disappointment to be honest, it started an hour late and I was there on my own, as has been the trend recently, but then on the train home weird things started happening.

As soon as I got on the carriage and stood by the door, this guy sitting a few seats further down would not stop staring at me. I tried to ignore him, glancing back every thirty seconds or so, usually via a reflection in the window, but he was still there gawping at me. Had I got something all over my face? I didn’t think so. But he kept on staring. Freak.

But worse was yet to come. A young girl, aged about ten, got on the train with her parents and stood next to me. There were enough passengers to fill all the seats and a select few, including them and me, standing. As I leaned against the partition with my iPod on, I began to smell something rather horrid. I turned my nose up and tried to ignore it, but it wasn’t going away. Someone was dropping their guts.

AND THEN the girl turned her nose up and looked at me accusingly several times, before muttering to her father that I was “making smells”. Her father just nodded in agreement, as if he knew already that I was letting off stinky farts in the tube. This pissed me off, so what did I do? Yep, I gave the girl a death stare. That showed her. It was not my methane, yet I was being accused of making the foul smells that were polluting all our lungs. What else could I do? Deny to a ten year old girl that it wasn’t me “making smells”? That would look pathetic. Although I suppose my death stare wasn’t really any more mature. I guess sometimes you have to grin and bear it.