Jonola14

BUFFET V

I was due to meet them around seven o’clock so we could grab a bite to eat before heading over to the venue to enjoy our friend Chris’s band playing The Fly on New Oxford Street, London.

Right on time, I got to the pub to find Price-o hunched over his pint and moments later Payno turned up to complete the trio and off we went in search of somewhere that we could get food quite quickly. But we struggled to find anywhere. In fact, we got all the way to the venue and still hadn’t found a decent place for some food, but as luck would have it, there was a Chinese restaurant next door called Buffet V.

Thinking £6.50 was a bargain for all-you-can-eat Chinese food, we piled in, grabbed a table and scurried off to the tables of dishes where we each filled our plates to the brim. I am always wary of these places and am never convinced that what we are eating is actually what the sticker says it is.

This occasion was no exception.

My first mouthful proved that what I thought was chicken was anything but. In fact, any of the meats I had piled onto my plate were dubious in both their texture and taste. Picking at the rice, beans and roast potatoes, I made do with what I knew was safe.

Payno and Price-o, however, went up for more and returned with full plates. “This isn’t meat” Payno announced, “I asked the assistant if this was spicy beef and she said no. It’s a vegetarian restaurant. What we’ve been eating is Soya. That there is Soya Chicken, that’s Soya Beef and this one here is Soya Duck”.

SOYA DUCK! Ridiculous! I actually felt quite unwell and battled to keep it down. Bloody vegetarians.

Moments later the band arrived in the same restaurant and tucked in, taking their meals outside to reduce the cost by a pound! When we saw them outside a little while later, two plates were left almost untouched and the bassist was round the corner throwing up. It turns out that the ‘V’ in Buffet V is for ‘vegan’.