From the sublime to the ridiculous

WART A MYSTERY

February 16th, 2007 Posted in Personal Events

Ever since I can remember, I’ve had a small wart on the middle finger of my left hand. Just a little thing, barely noticeable unless you know it is there, but nonetheless something that caused me irritation and occasional itching. When I was at school, around twelve to fifteen years ago, I used to try and cut the wart off with the point of a compass but all it really achieved was an unstoppable blood flow.

Then, about five years ago, I went to the doctor’s to have the wart frozen off. Some of you may have experienced this yourselves, but for those that haven’t, the freezing gun feels like someone is injecting a needle into you. Then, theoretically, two weeks later the wart is supposed to just fall off, having detached itself from its location. In my case, the frozen wart did not fall off, it just stayed right where it was, slowly growing in size, just wanting to be attacked with the increasingly rusty mathmatical geometric implement and since the failed freezing, I have just let it be.

Recently, I have had dry skin problems - wrists, feet, face and round the sides of my mouth. I’ve tried E45 itch relief cream, some extreme moisturiser and Vaseline, but none of them seems to have done the trick. In fact I am still suffering, although Vaseline has provided the best results so far, but the strangest thing has happened. The wart that had been there for as long as I can remember, has gone. Disappeared. Vanished. Completely. Just gone. When this happened I cannot say - it could have been last night, it could have been a few weeks ago, but the crux of the matter is that the wart has gone and there is nothing to show it ever existed.

Still got the warts on my genitals though.

  1. 2 Responses to “WART A MYSTERY”

  2. By Wibbler on Feb 18, 2007

    I was going to post a comment about how I have had my wart frozen off, and it worked wonders. I was also going to post that I once had 13 warts on my hands, which all disappeared within two weeks, while staying at Virginia Bottomley’s house. But then your final sentence hit home. Now I feel sick.

  3. By Jonola on Mar 9, 2007

    that last sentence is a joke, you do know that don’t you?

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