Jonola14

BURGER, FANTA AND LARGE LIES PLEASE

Last night I had a few beers with some colleagues after work. Deciding that I couldn’t be bothered to cook, I took a slight detour to the local McDonald’s to grab a take-out to eat in front of the tv at home.

In my semi-drunken state, I knew I was hungry and wanted more than just a Quarterpounder with cheese meal, but my semi-sober state also told me that this was a bit embarrassing. SO, I was in a quandry. Shall I order an enormous meal and bear the raised eyebrows, or shall I order a regularly sized meal, walk out the door with some dignity but then not satisfy my hunger?

It was a toughie and the assistant’s “Can I help you, sir?” prompted me to just go with the flow. So what did I do? What did my alcohol-influenced body instruct me to do? Well, I hit a low point and I’m not proud.

I took my phone out of my pocket and FAKED A CALL to ‘my housemate’. “Yeah hi it’s me, I’m here, I’m having a Quarterpounder meal, what do you want?” I said, as if it had all been pre-arranged. “You want THREE hamburgers?” I questioned, “you greedy bastard”.

As I walked home with my four burgers, large fries and large still Fanta spilling all over my hand, I almost died laughing at my own ridiculousness.