Jonola14

MUSICAL BEDS

The subconscious is a weird and intriguing part of human psychology. That sixth sense to know what someone was about to say, or to glance up and look straight in the eyes of someone staring at you - both are examples of how the human mind just seems to know when something is happening. This also happens, and arguably more frequently, when you are asleep.

For example, I remember a time about ten years ago when I was living at home. I was asleep and dreaming of a bee buzzing in through the window. I woke myself up, pulled back the curtains and closed the window just as a large bumblebee tried to get in. Coincidence? Possibly, but what about all those occasions when you are dreaming and what you have just dreamt of happens just as you wake up? The cat jumping onto the bed and waggling its arse in your face; the milkman making a racket with his crate of bottles; or waking up seconds before the alarm clock is due to go off.

For years I thought this only happened to me. Now, I am pleased to tell you that I have first-hand experience of it happening to someone else.

Debs was asleep - we’d been out the night before with Simon S and Michelle to celebrate the successful installation of wireless broadband - but it was now an ungodly hour the next morning and I was wide awake, gazing around the room again and again since I was unable to get up for fear of waking anyone. As I stared at the ceiling, flicking my eyes occasionally to my brand new chest of drawers and the ever-increasing pile of ironing, Debs’ hand suddenly appeared in front of my face, lowered itself onto my cheeks, nose and mouth and began to tap tap tap with all fingers. Not really knowing what to do, I just let it happen - tap tap tap, strum strum strum on my face. I mean, what do you do when something like that happens? It didn’t hurt, but it was annoying. I didn’t want to wake her up, but then again I didn’t want to have her fingers tapping on my face for the next three hours.

Twenty seconds went by before I gave her a nudge to wake her. “What?” she mumbled as she regained consciousness, her eyes fluttering as they got used to the light.
“You were tapping my face with your fingers” I said matter-of-factly, “it was a bit annoying”.
“Oh,” she replied, letting out a huge yawn and turning over, taking most of the duvet with her as per usual, “I dreamed I was playing the piano”.
“On my face?”
“I thought it was your bum”
“Great, so not only have I got you tap tap tapping on my nose but I’ve got a face like an arse as well”

This also begs the question ‘why were you dreaming of playing the piano on my bum’ but this post has gone on long enough.

I will leave you, though, in the knowledge that my subconscious has had its revenge on the piano playing Debbie. Last night I dreamed I was being mugged in a dark alley by a group of three youths brandishing a knife, but I was fighting back. And, as a result, Debs got a swift, sharp knee in the back! GO SUBCONSCIOUS!