Jonola14

CREATE YOUR OWN ROAD RAGE

Instead of regaling my story of yesterday’s road rage incident to you in extreme detail, bit by bit, insult by insult, I thought it might be more amusing for you to choose what happened from a selection of possible scenarios. You can let me know which of the scenarios you believe occurred by leaving a comment. I will let you know in due course what the correct scenarios were.

Here’s the background:

I was driving back to my current residence in Bushey having viewed a flat in Northwood, a half dozen miles away. The traffic was bad and was beginning to clog up. I found myself in a queue of traffic that just wasn’t moving. My mind on the flat I’d just seen, I let a small gap between myself and the car in front develop, allowing a courageous driver to pull out from a side road and stop me in my tracks as he indicated right to head back in the direction from where I had come. He went, that wasn’t a problem, but then a BMW (what else) swiftly followed, forcing me, as I began to close the gap, to brake quite sharply. The BMW went through and I edged forward a bit more to completely close the gap, only for a clapped out old Rover to try to pull out in front of me. Seeing as this was very close to the front of my car, I briefly honked the horn to warn him that I was there (Highway Code states that horns should only be used to warn another driver, not to indicate disgust) and I sat behind the car in front, waiting for the traffic to move.

The Rover driver honked his horn back at me, for whatever reason in his dim-witted baseball-cap-covered peanut for a brain, and he edged out behind me eventually.

The next thing I know, the driver of that car was standing on the pavement on the other side of the road, gesticulating to me to wind down the window. So I did, with a smirk.

“Come over here so we can talk about this” the bloke said, pointing to where he had parked his car. ‘Talk about what?’ I thought as I sat there, looking at this pathetic little chav in his white trainers and baseball cap ‘you tried to pull out in front of me when there was no space’ I added in my mind, just to 100% reassure myself that I was not at fault.

So what did I say in response to his offer of a chat about our incident?

a) “oh grow up little boy”
b) “I’m in a queue of traffic, how can I turn the car around?”
c) “no thanks, I don’t want your blood on my new suit”
d) “go and read your Highway Code, if you can read”
e) “only if your mother joins us”

I didn’t get out the car. Frankly I couldn’t be bothered wasting my breath on yet another local scally.

“I’ve got your number plate, mate” he replied, as the traffic cleared and the cars in front began to disappear. What was my reply?

a) “number plate spotter are you? Nice hobby”
b) “company car mate, goes back in a few weeks”
c) “I’m really really really scared” (obviously sarcastic)
d) “stand in front of my car and get a closer look then”
e) “frankly, chav, I don’t give a shit”

Please submit your guesses via the comments facility below.