Jonola14

(I TRIED TO) ENJOY THE VUE

About ten years ago when I was approaching the most hormonal period of my pubescent teenage years, going to the cinema on a weekend was a good thing to do - and it was the traditional thing you did when going out with a prospective girlfriend for the first time.

Last night Debs and I went to the local Watford ‘Vue’ cinema to see the highly publicised ghost film ‘White Noise’ and upon departure, I vowed never to go to the cinema on a Friday or Saturday night ever again.

Why? Because the cinema was full of spotty kids showing off and trying to act cool in front of their friends or their dates. At the start of the film, a huge belch emanated from somewhere at the back, followed by a fit of giggles and it was all I could do to concentrate extra hard on the developing plot and ignore the juvenile filth going on behind us.

The fake-necklaced, Burberry-bearing, ear-ringed, cap-wearing, gum-chewing, white-trainered oiks just wouldn’t stop talking throughout, which really ruined some moments of the film when the suspense and tension was supposed to grip you. Another huge belch, this time from the loud-mouthed, common slapper with verbal diarrhoea two seats away from me. Then a loud fart and another huge fit of giggles from the back row. That was it, somebody in the audience lost it and told all the scallies to shut up. This was the cue for the security guard to get involved and to attempt to throw out one of the offending chavs.

All I heard from my seat at the front was “don’t touch me, don’t touch me” as the low-life scum was told to leave the cinema, prompting me to think that such a phrase was the most pathetic and the most undignified response possible.

Eventually the film ended and I was a little disappointed with it, but I am more disappointed with the way that the future of England is headed.