Jonola14

BABY SHOWER

Simon H and Lucy R are about to have a baby, in fact the due date was the day before yesterday, so what better than to organise a pre-birth get-together for all the women at one house and all the men at the other.

Shaun H organised the boys and arranged for Simon S and I to drop Michelle C at his house where the women’s get-together was to take place - known as a ‘baby shower’. Here the girls had obviously spent days decorating the place in Lucy’s honour and producing enough food to feed a ravenous Vanesse Phelps. The men, however, had decided that a surprise visit for Simon was a better option and that a trip to the off-licence would suffice for nourishment. As we ambled towards the house, lagers in tow, all five of us crouched and walked stupidly as we passed a low-cut hedge at the end of the front garden so that Simon wouldn’t see us if he was looking out of the lounge window, putting us into fits of laughter that really didn’t help our subtle approach.

After the surprise, we did the usual male things (talked about women, beer and football and watched tv) and a quiche was produced from the fridge - Simon’s mother had made it, conveniently… Simon S soon tucked in and ate a large proportion of it, proclaiming his love for quiche but soon the hours passed and it was time to go.

So Simon S, Shaun H and I headed back to Shaun’s house where we were due to pick up Michelle and journey on to Guildford. We were delighted to see that the plethora of food had hardly been touched so Simon S and I duly loaded up our paper plates full of as much food as we could fit on them and bundled into the car for the trip home.

Balancing the paper plates on our laps (I was driving), we gently set off and began munching on the variety of biscuits, crisps, cakes and goodies we’d packed onto our plates. Simon balanced his plate on one hand whilst he crammed a handful of Smarties into his gob with his other hand before fastening his seatbelt, unfortunately this coincided with a rather sharp turn in the road which caused him to lose the balance of the loaded paper plate in his hand. As it fell out of his grasp, it knocked my plate from my lap, Simon uttered a despairing ‘quiiiiiiichhe’ as the pair of plates fell to the ground and emptied cookies, Monster Munch, Party Rings, cocktail sausages, sausage rolls, gingerbread men, Smarties, chocolate biscuits and several slices of quiche all over my lap and the already filthy footwell.

I had to stop the car. The tears in my eyes swelled so much that I could barely see, I grabbed pieces of quiche, cake and biscuit and tossed them out the window onto the road. We stayed there for minutes, uncontrollable, both crying with laughter and picking food off ourselves.