BURN
Monday, May 26th, 2003 Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments »and now I've just burnt my hand. What a shitty couple of days.
BAD DAY
Monday, May 26th, 2003 Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments »Yesterday was perhaps the worst day of the year to date. Why? 09.15 - Woke up with a stinking hangover 10.30 - Dumped by girl I was really really keen on 15.30 - Whole flat is fused by blown lightbulb - no ...
TEXTS 2003
Sunday, May 25th, 2003 Posted in Text Archive | No Comments »29/12/2003Don't let the bed bugs bite.Simon H - I won't, they're too busy devouring all the lice. 24/12/2003Currently munching on a nice-looking tartSimon S - Whatever would your girlfriend say....? ...
SMURG
Sunday, May 25th, 2003 Posted in Classics, Drunken Antics | No Comments »SMURG (sm ur'g) adj., n., adv., prep. An umbrella term used to describe absolutely anything, in any context whatsoever, usually without any relevance at all. *HISTORY of 'Smurg'* The word Smurg, although used widely around the world today, emerged from very humble ...
NO WIN GAY
Saturday, May 24th, 2003 Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments »Last night, a work colleague said to me: "when I first met you, I thought you were gay, all good looking men are gay" I didn't know whether to be happy that I was considered 'good looking' or distraught that I may ...
SLEEP TELEPHONING
Saturday, May 24th, 2003 Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »"Who the hell's sending me a message at this time of night" I said to myself as the bleep bleeping of my mobile indicated somebody had sent me a text and I had to get out of my nice warm ...
CHINESE SCOTTISH
Friday, May 23rd, 2003 Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »A very amusing incident occurred today when I was phoning some customers. A customer with a Chinese sounding name, but who lived in Scotland, needed to be contacted, so I phoned the number and experienced the following conversation: "Hai, wai ...
CHICAGO MADNESS
Saturday, May 17th, 2003 Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »Chicago's in Watford was the venue. A 21st birthday party for a work colleague was the occasion. Mayhem. Mark R and I pitched up a couple of hours late, due to VH1's 'Bon Jovi Day', to find a drunken Darren B ...
SHOOT THE BIKE
Monday, May 12th, 2003 Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »Having regained my breath after a strenuous hour of 5-a-side, I arrived home and headed straight for the kitchen. I stood at the sink, sipping on my ice cool Ribena and gazed out the window as I rehydrated. At last ...
ASDA EXPERIENCE
Sunday, May 11th, 2003 Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments »"Let's go for a fry-up then" Mark said as we lingered in the kitchen, reminiscing about last night's antics. And off we went, direction Sainsbury's. "Go to ASDA instead" Jason suggested as we approached the cross-roads "the portions ...
