Jonola14

FAT BOY SLIM

During the two and a half hour wait in a 15 mile traffic jam on the way to the Fat Boy Slim Party on Brighton beach, Matt S and I decided to liven up the otherwise depressing queues of cars, camper vans and minibuses by sporting my David Seaman wigs and headbanging to various pumping tunes. After many odd looks and disgusting gesticulations, we arrived in Brighton and made our way to the beach, late, and had only enough time to listen to two tunes before it finished.

Nil desperandum, we thought, so we tottered off to a nightclub which, unbeknown to us, was FORMERLY a gay club and boogied the night away. After Matt S was ripped off in the kebab house and then thrown out for asking the whereabouts of the proprietor’s passport, we wandered in the direction of Tim P’s flat.

It was then that we decided to play ‘dry feet, wet feet’ with the sea, involving running towards the sea when the tide drew back, then trying to out-run the next incoming wave. When we finally got fed up of the sound of our squelching feet, we sploshed and slopped home.

There was still time, however, for me to notice a traveller’s van parked by the beach. It was a cross between a transit and a VW camper but looked more like it should have the words ‘Mr Whippy’ in italicised writing and producing catchy, irritating nursery rhyme tunes. “What a lovely ice cream van” I boldly stated as we stumbled by, which probably wasn’t the first time the Irish occupant had heard it, hence his ‘arrrgh, just F*CK OFF’ response. How we laughed…..

Quote of the Day
SJ: “I don’t dislike the bloke, I just think he’s a tosser”