Jonola14

SHUNTA’S BIRTHDAY

When Simon H announced that his birthday party in the Cranleigh Hotel was to be fancy dress, it was clear that carnage would inevitably descend on the pub that night. And so it did.

The antics began late afternoon with a friendly game of darts. I was competing with a fireman, Tyler Durden from Fight Club, and Elvis Presley. It was a knockout game and I was winning. Having knocked out Elvis and Tyler and frustrated the fireman, Shaun H, I threw the winning dart. The next thing I know is Shaun has tried to scare me by aiming a dart to narrowly miss my foot. He succeeded. However, he also managed to lodge the offending arrow in my calf muscle. Thinking that it had just pierced my jeans, he attempted to pull it out and fell flat on his back. He then chased a speeding ambulance down the road. Splendid.

The rest of the evening is a bit of a blur to be quite honest. My home-made outfit of an erect penis, created to reflect my opinions of Simon H, went down rather well, as did Simon S’ Osama bin Laden costume, later to be renamed Osimon bin Laden.

The merriment continued, Tyler lost a fight or two, Osimon had his gun nicked and Simon H, still dressed as Elvis, managed to pull FOUR TIMES, including the conquest of a jailbait 15 year old. Pervert.