ART AND DRAMA STUDENTS
May 25th, 2002 Posted in Film, RantsWe’ve all been in a situation whereby we’ve been watching a film or a tv programme, and there’s an art and drama student in the vicinity. Now, I like students, I was one for many many years and I had the time of my life BUT, when it comes to art and drama students, I think they should all be lined up next to each other and force fed tarantulas until they all die. Why? I hear you ask. WELL…..
You can GUARANTEE that at a crucial moment during a film, when the hero has to make a critical decision that could mean life or death for thousands of people, the art and drama student will criticise the performance. “Oh, *tut*, that’s such bad acting” is a common phrase. “Pah, that’s just soooooooo corny”, “how unrealistic”, “this is crap” and “she’s such a bad actor” are also well-coined art and drama student phrases. WHY CAN’T THEY JUST SHUT THE F*CK UP AND WATCH THE FILM? IF THEY DON’T LIKE IT, THEN WHY DON’T THEY JUST F*CK OFF OUT THE ROOM AND GO DRAW A BUILDING OR SOMETHING? IT IS SOOOO UNNECESSARY AND PISSES EVERYONE OFF A TREAT. I DON’T SEE THEM ACTING IN MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR PRODUCTION HOLLYWOOD FILMS AND PICKING UP MORE OSCARS THAN IS FEASIBLY POSSIBLE TO FIT ON EVEN THE LARGEST MANTELPIECE.
For crying out loud, all you art and drama students please, please, PLEASE, either SHUT UP AND WATCH THE FILM, F*CK OFF OUT THE ROOM, OR DIE QUIETLY IN THE CORNER. I have had enough of listening to your constant petty whinging and whining all the way through a blockbusting film. Just because some old hag in your Thursday night drama class says that films are plot-less and full of bad actors, IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO SPOIL IT FOR EVERY OTHER POOR SOD WHO’S TRYING TO WATCH THE DAMNED THING. WHEN YOU HAVE BECOME AN ACTING ICON AND ARE STARRING IN MORE PRODUCTIONS THAN ARNIE HIMSELF, THEN MAYBE YOU MIGHT HAVE A POINT, BUT IN THE MEANTIME SHUT THE F*CK UP AND KEEP YOUR UNWANTED, NEGATIVE, WORTHLESS CRITICISMS TO YOURSELVES.
And another thing, AN UNMADE BED IS NOT ART, NOR IS STICKING A PIECE OF BLU-TAC ON A WALL, LEAVING THE WASHING UP FOR TWO WEEKS, OR WRAPPING YOURSELVES UP IN CLINGFILM. WHY DO YOU BOTHER? IS THERE NOTHING ELSE YOU CAN DO? OR PERHAPS YOU’D PREFER TO SQUEEZE AS MUCH PAINT AS POSSIBLE ONTO A CANVAS, STIR IT AROUND FOR A FEW MINUTES, VALUE IT AT HALF A MILLION POUNDS AND CLAIM IT’S ‘MODERN ART’. WELL, LET ME TELL YOU, IT’S NOT MODERN ART, IT’S JUST PLAIN BOLLOCKS SO STOP F*CKING DOING IT AND FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO WASTE YOUR LIFE WITH.
