Jonola14

MR HELPFUL

On Saturday morning, with a mild hangover and an incessant desire to have a fry-up, Simon S and I went to the local garage near Michelle and Becki’s house to stock up on eggs and beans.

We wandered around, grabbed what we wanted and placed it on the counter for the attendant to process. What we didn’t know, however, was that we were being served by the world’s least helpful man.

Behind us was a customer using the coffee machine. “Does regular coffee come with milk?” he asked, expecting an informative response from Mr Helpful. There was no answer, he just sat there looking at his computer. By then, we were also stood at the counter, assuming that he would deal with us in a moment. The man repeated his question and fiddled with a few more buttons, but Mr Helpful still didn’t respond. He decided, finally, to process our purchase and was slowly scanning through the few items we had when a clearly stressed woman came in with half a dozen kids. “Do you have toilets here?” she asked, rather loudly and with a tone of utmost urgence. Again, no response. “Do you have toilets here?” she repeated sharply, and the answer he gave was just priceless - a short, simple “Yes”.

After packing our own carrier bag, we left the garage and looked back to see the woman still looking for the toilets, Mr Helpful blankly watching his monitor and some guy pressing all the buttons on the coffee machine. Splendid.